Timey-Wimey Crash
by DarthRushy
Summary: Basically the Time Crash special, but with the Ninth Doctor instead of the Fifth Doctor. Can the two Doctors put aside their vast differences and cooperate to save the universe from the vast threat of Belgium?


"Oh so sorry." muttered the Doctor as he passed the leather-clad man.  
"Sorry." echoed the Doctor in return. Suddenly, they both realized the same thing: neither belonged.  
"What?" gasped the Tenth Doctor.  
"Who the hell are you?" demanded Ninth in return.

"What?"

* * *

"Look, whoever you are, I do not have the time for this." stated the Ninth Doctor.  
"This is not fair..."  
"Yeah, well, life isn't."

"No, I mean, out of all the Doctors I could run into, I had to run into you..."  
"Is there something you want?" the Ninth Doctor raised his voice.

"No, no, just here to tell you that uh..." the Tenth Doctor placed the laptop screen so the Ninth could see it.  
"DON'T TOUCH MY EQUIPMENT!" yelled the Ninth Doctor.  
"There's been a TARDIS collision!" said Tenth over the Ninth Doctor's voice and pointed to the screen.

The Ninth Doctor sighed and took a quick look at the laptop. "Oh. Fantastic."  
"Yeah, we've torn a gap in the space-time continuum the exact size of-"  
"You just had to take your shields down, didn't you?" snarled the Ninth Doctor, cutting him off.  
"Oi! I had a lot to think about! I've been a prisoner for a whole year." protested Tenth.  
"Tough."

"I saved the planet!"  
"Good for you. Now make yourself useful and help me fix this. You a Doctor or not?"  
"Oh, Allons-y!" exclaimed the Tenth Doctor and started to work on the console.  
"What?"  
"Allons-y! You haven't forgotten French, have you?"  
"Whuh?" asked the Ninth Doctor silently, not comprehending the stupid catchphrase.

"Never mind. Look, don't worry, I know exactly how this works out."  
Suddenly, the Tenth Doctor was distracted.  
"Check those ears!" he laughed.  
So was the Ninth Doctor. "Your sideburns are worse."  
"Hey! I like the sideburns. But try these!"

He handed the Ninth Doctor his pair of glasses.  
"You have got to be kidding me." stared the Ninth Doctor at Tenth.  
"Put them on!"  
"I will if you let me stuck a banana in your mouth."

"Oh, I forgot the grumpy, kinda like our first version, isn't it?"  
"Will you focus on the work, you skinny idiot?!" screamed the Ninth Doctor in anger. "I'm trying to save both our lives and it would help, it really would help if you wouldn't rant about every last thing you see!"

That silenced the Tenth Doctor. "Sorry. Things are just a bit brighter in my time, you see. I don't have to be a soldier anymore."  
The Ninth Doctor finally softened. "I missed that."  
"What?"  
"The flimsy. I still do that, but... it's not really the same after what... you know what."  
"Mmm. It'll get better. I promise. You'll meet some great people out there."  
"What about Rose?"

The Tenth Doctor's face hardened. "Spoilers. Y'know?"  
The Ninth Doctor smiled sadly.

Suddenly, both were interrupted by a large rumble.  
"Well, as I was going to save earlier, I know exactly how this turns out." The Tenth Doctor fiddled with the console.  
"Venting the thermo buffer... flooring the helmic regulator... and just to finish off, let's fire those zyton crystals."  
The Ninth Doctor tried to stop the Tenth. "No, no, no, no! You'll blow up the TARDIS!"

"It's the only way out!"  
"And who told you that?!" the Ninth Doctor asked, exasperated.  
"You did."

The Tenth Doctor fired the crystals, causing everything to fade to white and then back again.  
"A supernova and a black hole at the same instant..."  
"Explosion cancels out implosion..."  
"Matter remains constant."  
"Brilliant."

Both grinned at each other like schoolboys.  
"So how'd you figure it out?" asked the Ninth Doctor.  
"I didn't have to."  
"Oh!" realized Ninth. "You remembered! You remembered being me, watching you doing that, that's fantastic!"  
"Wibbly-wobbly..."  
"Timey-wimey!"  
Both laughed in unison and high-fived.

"Oh, I _missed_ that!" cackled the Ninth Doctor.  
Suddenly, a beep came from the background.  
"Right! TARDISes are separating! Sorry Doctor, time's up, back to the rough days. Where are you now? Actually, where's Rose?"  
"Oh, she's back at her mum's for the weekend. We had a little argument about spiders."  
The Tenth Doctor scowled. "Oh, I remember _that_ one. Yuck."  
"Yeah..."

The Ninth Doctor began disappearing.  
"Well, I'm off. Oh by the way, word of advice..."  
"Yes?"  
"Whatever you do, _don't_ go domestic on me. Ever. Please."  
"Well, I've got a good record so far. And as for you..."  
"Yes?"  
"Whatever you do, _don't_ buy Rose a chocolate box."

"How'd you know I was gonna... oh right."  
"You told me. Actually, I wonder what would've happened."  
"Best to keep the timeline intact."  
"Yeah..."  
"Right."

The Ninth Doctor smiled again. "I'm glad to know I'll be okay."  
"I'm glad to know I could be of help."

With those words said, the Ninth Doctor finally left back to his own time. The Tenth Doctor wasn't allowed to gather his thoughts much until the TARDIS was hit by a large ship, knocking him down to the floor and sending pieces of both flying.

"What?! What?!" called out the Tenth Doctor, completely confused. He picked up the life-buoy from the floor and read the name, then realizing the gravity of the situation.

"What?" 


End file.
